Lame Pick-Up on Aisle Four

I was in the supermarket yesterday, one of the places they recommend us single gals try to pick up a "hungry man" by the way, when a very cute guy tried to pick me up with a very lame line --- "Happy brown day," he joked. We both had on brown, if you didn't guess.

The whole think was so dorky, but I thought it was cute that he was all flustered just talking to me, but e wasn't even a minute into his "date me pitch" when he started complaining about his wife! Yes, he is in a bad marriage and doesn't know what to do and of course the minute he walked into the store he immediately gravitated towards me because I seem to have some type of magnet that attracts losers and weirdos.

He told me that he never wanted to get married in the first place but he was recently "saved" (read ex-druggie, ex-con) and "his pastor convinced him that he needed a WIFE," you know to ensure that his salvation is complete. Now he is married to "the wrong woman" and "she is dragging him down when all he wants to do is the right thing." I suggested therapy and he claimed he was game but she doesn't want to go. He followed me around the store with this sob story and I kept trying to figure out if he was just incapable of reading body language and thinly veiled sighs.

The best part of the whole fiasco was when he into a friend of his who went to his church.
"Oh no, I hope she doesn't tell my wife."
"Tell her what? We are NOT flirting," I clarified quickly.
"Yeah, but she likes me and she told me that if I wasn't already married, she'd marry me."
I rolled my eyes.
All I could think about was that if he had Church Friend on the hook, then why wasn't he spending his energies reeling her in instead of bothering me?
"I'll just tell her I'm trying to sell you perfume. I sell perfume on the side, it's my hustle."
The picture was now complete.
"Really," I said dryly.
"CONTACT ME IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT THE PERFUME," he said loud enough for Church Friend to hear. "I HAVE THE GOOD STUFF, NOT IMITATION."
He finally walked off and I was left wondering, did he really think that was going to work?