Under the Hill- Tick Tick, Is That the Sound of Your Biological Clock?

I recently turned 30 without ever managing to become somebody’s Mommy. I’m fine with this, more than fine, but some of my very well meaning family members can’t understand why I haven’t gone forth and multiplied.

Take this past weekend, where instead of celebrating my Mom’s birthday, there seemed to be an awful lot of focus on the fact that I wasn’t one. See, my brother recently had his second daughter. She’s about three months old, gorgeous and content to just lie there. I was asked if I wanted to hold her, I said "no." I don’t hold little babies. Never have. They are very delicate and I tend to break very delicate things. Why take the chance? Of course, nobody is ever permitted to decline the honor of holding somebody else’s pride and joy, so she was in my lap faster than I could say, “spinsters are people too.”

Major uncomfortableness followed. I mean have you ever tried to hold a very young infant? They squirm; look very uncomfortable and they don’t talk, so you can’t ask them if they are all right. I sat there for all of five minutes cooing and stuff and handed the baby back. The first thing my brother said was, “I can tell that you are never going to have children?” Huh? Angie and Mommy don’t mix because I’m not instinctively an expert at Baby Holding 101? I mean she is only 3 months. It’s not like we can play around and stuff. All she can do is stare and smile. Five minutes of that is a good amount of auntie/niece playtime if you ask me. Then, my other relatives took turns trying to make me feel guilty or worse incompetent, and this got me thinking: Is the “M Club” for everybody?

In an age where 30 is the new 20 and life seems to just get good as you inch towards 40, is there still a thing as being too old to be a mom? Should I go out and have a rugrat by the first man that strikes my interest or risk being childless forever? I think not. I can’t afford a kid right now. I can barely take care of myself. I still have so much that I want to do with my life. When you have kids they have to become your priority, sacrifices become in order and I’m just not ready to abdicate my numero uno position in my life to anybody else…yet. Also, this may be a newsflash for some, but I know a lot of successful older women who have no children and are, brace yourselves, happy and content. Being a Mom is great. I love my nieces and they have brought a richness into my life that I could never have imagined, but not everybody wants to be a mom and just being you, sans that Mommy title, doesn’t make you any less of a women.

As for me, I intend to be a Mommy one day, but on my timetable and when I can afford to give the kid the time and attention he or she will need to be happy and healthy. So, count me in as a future member of the “M Club,” but in the present, just being Angie is enough.

till next week...